Pirates, Torture, and Escape

Dear Readers, once again it seems the notorious pirates have struck!  This reporter has gotten several reports of the actions of these criminal masterminds.


The unnamed group has been the cause of several incidents around the city the past few days. Apparently led by a female red panda Moreau. The current strings of events started several days ago when a second attack happened at Cuffs in the port. From what this little clockwork understands is it was a very intense and long battle  resulting in a great deal of damage to the surrounding area. I was not made fully aware who the victors was but I do know the pirates had cleverly gotten away once again. Only for the nefarious red panda to return and become captured.


You would think, dear readers, that this would be the end of things. Oh no, far, far from it. I have gotten very detailed reports of incidents during the capture and I must say I’m highly appalled by the actions of a local detective that for the sake of privacy, if nothing else, will not be named. However reports of inhumane torture being used in a private sector against the captive pirate has reached my ears by several accounts, which thankfully I may add backfired into a perfect storm causing a massive explosion, an attempted kidnapping of a citizen and a very amusing quote from one of the more reputable members  of our city.


“They caught the panda,

They decided to lower the glass,

She made glass go boom”


However the negligence and use of crude and terrible torture devices that lead to many being injured when the clever red panda made the entire contraption backfire is still a horrible account. One can only wonder who the bad guy is in that situation.


In a moment of suspected retaliation the red panda managed to kidnap the lady Beryl. Not much is known except a letter posted to the local detective  which was an add for a local cleaning service with a heart and a lipstick kiss imprinted on it from the clever and nefarious red panda. With a ps attached, horrifically enough it was a patch of black fur that has indeed been identified as Beryl’s.


The end? Oh no.. nowhere close.. One final act was committed after the chaos.  The following is a copy of the report this little writer had received;


Early yesterday morning, a small group headed up by a diminutive red panda showed up at RF Burton Library with a large box.  They proceeded directly to the paranormal section, pausing only to temporarily blind one of the assistant librarians with ink from her own inkwell and wedge one of the stacks workers into one of the shelves tight enough he later needed to be cut out, before loading the crate with books and boldly parading back out again.  The stacks worker was filed under “recipes”, for any concerned with such details. The panda reportedly paused in the doorway, thanked the assistant librarian for her help, and blew a kiss to the few hapless onlookers present.


In the aftermath the poor worker who was “filed” reportedly had to be cut out causing further damage to the library. As of now three teams have been dispatched to quell the threat of the pirates still unnamed and hopes to clean the mess before it becomes worse.


In other news. Reports of the creature in the quarry known only as “The mother of pus” has reached my ears with further updates. Apparently it has been noted that she is rising further out of the seabed, shielded by a bubble of light, protecting her from the world and outside influences. All attempts to communicate has been a complete failure, even within the bubble. It is currently theorized that her bubble blocks out all sound inside and out , or is part of her own world, not allowing her to see beyond.  These theories and statement comes from and is authenticated by colleagues from Miskatonic University called in by Skusting Dagger.

As always dear readers, stay safe.


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